The joys of tourned vegetables

I HATE turned (sorry, tourned) vegatables.

A turned vegetable is one that is cut into a football-shaped piece with five or seven equal sides and blunt ends. Many vegetables can be turned, and in class a few weeks ago, we did potatoes.  And I use the word "we" because I did not contribute one correctly tourned potato.

I'd love to take credit for these perfectly cut veggies, but they aren't mine.

The concept sounds simple enough: Use a small, sharp paring knife (a 3-inch knife is excellent - I borrowed my Italian friends knife designed just for this). Place your index finger around the top (dull edge) of the knife blade. Holding the vegetable in one hand, carve an arc on one side of the vegetable beginning halfway out from the center of the top. You want to avoid pointed ends that will overcook. Turn the vegetable slightly and cut another arc. Continue doing this until you have a football-shaped cylinder. In his French Laundry cookbook, Thomas Keller makes it sound even easier: "cut the vegetables into pieces slightly larger then the desired shape of the vegetable. Using a paring knife, cut from top to bottom to "whittle" a football shape".

Got it?

In the margins of one of his books with Julia Child, Jacques Pepin comments on the reasons for doing this. "This technique produces pieces of a uniform size which can cook evenly, and allows them to be tossed and rolled easily in a sauté pan, so that they will glaze and color on all sides".  I j'dore Jacques (actually tongue tied when I saw him at Coppa last year), but I just don't get it. Had I know about this technique back then I may have sat him down and had him spill his guts on the 'tricks of the trade'.  Because let's be honest here, he makes it look like a toddler could handle these cuts. 

Bag of potatoes ready, I was ready to get myself to Jacques Pepin status.  Ah, who I am kidding.  I was just hoping for a better showing then in class.

Over an hour later, bag of potatoes gone, and many a curse word muttered, I MAYBE had 3 even, 7-sided potatoes. I just can't seem to get the technique down. I even watched youtube videos to help out. Oh well, at least it was an improvement.  Sigh.

I was reading a blog post the other day about these buggers.  It mentioned all the classical reasons why chefs turned vegetables.  Then, she followed up with the truth that anyone that has studied the culinary arts already knows: the real purpose of turning vegetables is to put culinary students through hell. 

I couldn't agree more.

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