Learning to make a darn good oeuf

J’adore the movie Sabrina (the original, not the crap remake).  I mean what’s not to love about the story of a girl who “finds herself” in Paris.

One of the best scenes is when she is in a cooking lesson in Paris. The chef is stereotypically French, and Sabrina (Audrey Hepburn) is reeling with the heartbreak from David Larrabee.  The following is a quote from this scene. 

The Professor: Bonjour, mesdames et monsiuers. Yesterday we have learned the correct way how to boil water. Today we will learn the correct way how to crack an egg. Voilà! An egg. Now, an egg is not a stone; it is not made of wood, it is a living thing. It has a heart. So when we crack it, we must not torment it. We must be merciful and execute it quickly, like with the guillotine.  --- Sabrina, 1954.

I have spent the better part of the last 2 weeks learning about, cracking (with finesse of course!!), cooking and eating eggs.  2 weeks of countless techniques, endless flavors, and too many consistencies to try and itemize.  Regardless of how many things you can do with a little 2 oz egg, I need a break.  As do my cholesterol levels.

Sick of eggs or not, they really are fascinating.  

And because I know everyone is asking “how so?” and “oh, tell me more!”, here you go – some ‘egg’citing fun facts.  (You know want to smile).

·      There are 17,000 holes in each egg shell

·      The older the egg, the larger the air pocket at the top

·      Weak shells indicate low levels of vitamin D

·      Egg whites are 95% water

·      Whites contain ½ the protein in an egg

·      Egg whites can foam to 6-8x original volume

·      Whites foam best in copper bowls – you can’t over beat by hand in a copper bowl

·      Egg whites freeze beautifully (and actually foam better after thawing)

·      One egg white = approx 2 ½ tbsp or a little over 1 oz

·      A cloudy egg white indicates a fresh egg

·      Egg yolks contain more then ¾ of the calories in an egg, most of the vitamins and minerals, and, although minimal, all of the fat.

·      1 egg yolk = approx 1 tbsp + 1 tsp

·      An egg is mostly yolk until right before laying

·      1 egg yolk can handle up to 1 cup of fat (oil)

You can thank me later for enriching you life with that (oh so useless) information.  But, if anyone wins Jeopardy because of the above facts, I expect a cut.

Eggs can do anything.  They have, in fact, made me like mayonnaise. Anyone that knows me can agree this validates my bold statement 100%.  I’m not talking about the crappy milky (barf!) stuff that sits in your refrigerator. I’m talking about the “oh my god, my arm might fall off from whisking that” mayo.  Light, airy, and flavorful.  Amazing.  And ultimately, not THAT difficult (of course, I only say that now that I have been successful.  We don’t need to mention the countless failed attempts at an emulsion). 

While there is a bit of technique required, it’s basically whisking oil into a beaten egg yolk very slowly.  Add a tsp of oil, whisk until you want to cry.  Repeat until 50% of oil is incorporated, then add 1 tbsp at a time (you may want to release a small cry at this point that you are only ½ way done – it’s ok. I did).  I’ll admit, I’m a novice at proper whisking, but it does hurt.  But I promise you the pain is all worth it.  You can add anything to this mayonnaise - we added pancetta, red pepper and chives (attached photo), but the sky is the limit. 

Make a batch, divide it up and see what you come up with.  

Good Luck!